What would you do? My colleague borrowed money from me and is not returning despite requests; 6 women share exactly how they dealt with it

"Just this once, please.

I'll pay you back by next week." A colleague says they're facing an emergency.

Maybe it's a delayed salary, a hospital bill that couldn't wait or a child's school fee due tomorrow.

You see this person every single day at the coffee machine.

You know them.

You trust them.

So you transfer the money without overthinking it.

Then the waiting starts.

The "I'll definitely return it tonight" texts that never lead anywhere.

The WhatsApp chats that show two blue ticks but somehow never get a reply.The strange new tension every time you make eye contact across the office.

And then, the question that quietly starts eating at you: How many times can you ask for your own money before you start feeling like the unreasonable one?We put this situation to working women and asked a simple question: What would you actually do if a colleague borrowed money and just... stopped making any effort to return it? The answers were honest, a little uncomfortable, and very, very different.Ritika (32, HR Executive) lent a colleague Rs 12,000 after a payday promise.

Three days later, she was still waiting. "Every time I brought it up, there was a new reason.

First it was a delay, then a family issue, then something else.

I started feeling guilty for even asking like I was being insensitive." Eventually, she stopped being casual about it.

She sent one clean, specific message: "Hi, we've spoken about this a few times now.

Can you confirm when you'll be transferring the Rs 12,000?" "Something shifted the moment I stopped being vague," she says. "She transferred the full amount within the week." Ritika says you can be polite as much you want but there needs to be clarity as well.Neha (38, Marketing Manager) lent Rs 25,000 to a coworker during what seemed like a genuine family crisis.

Months passed.

The topic kept getting gently sidestepped. "I don't think she was a bad person.

I genuinely believe she wanted to pay me back.

She just didn't have it all at once." So Neha suggested something different: "What if you return Rs 5,000 every month?" Her colleague agreed on the spot, almost with relief. "It took five months.

But I got every single rupee back." Neha says, “Breaking the amount into installments removed the shame from the conversation.

And once the shame was gone, the avoidance went with it.After six unanswered messages, Sonal (29, Software Engineer) had a quiet realization. "It is genuinely easier to ignore a notification than to ignore a human being standing in front of you." So one afternoon during a coffee break, she walked over and said it out: "I've messaged you many times about the money.

Is there something going on we should talk about?" Her colleague's response surprised her.

He wasn't avoiding her out of bad intentions.

He was embarrassed and didn't know what to say. "He paid half that same week.

The rest came the following month."A few months in, Pooja (41, Finance Professional) noticed her colleague starting to get hazy on the details. "She once said 'I think I already sent you something.' She hadn't.

Not a single rupee." So Pooja sent one short message: "Just so we're on the same page, the full amount of Rs 18,000 is still pending." Her colleague replied with an okay. "That okay was all I needed.

Now it was in writing.

She couldn't walk it back." Pooja didn't do it to be clever.

She did it because she'd learned that money and memory are a bad combination.Ankita (35, Project Coordinator) had tried everything.

Polite texts, gentle reminders and even a direct conversation but nothing moved.

Then one afternoon at a team lunch, while everyone was casually talking, she said it plainly: "You still owe me that money by the way.

It's been months." "I wasn't angry.

I didn't make it a big deal.

I just said it like it was a normal thing — because it was." Her colleague laughed it off in the moment.

But called her that evening and paid her back within two days. "I'm not saying do this every time.

But after months of being ignored, sometimes you just need the thing to exist outside of your private conversations," says Ankita.Megha (34, Content Strategist) tried for nearly a year.

Reminders, follow ups, one final honest message: "If you can't return it, just tell me.

I'd rather know." Nothing came back.

Not a reply.

Not the money. "I realised I was thinking about Rs 8,000 every single day.

It was taking up way more space in my head than it deserved." So she let it go. "I just decided I would never lend money to a coworker again unless I was completely fine with it never coming back.

That's my rule now." She doesn't regret it.So, what would you do? Ask directly with a specific number? Break it into smaller amounts they can actually manage? Put down the phone and just go talk to them? Or would you eventually decide the peace of mind is worth more than the money? Here's what all six of these women figured out, in their own ways: Lending money to a colleague was never really a financial decision.

It was always a trust decision.

And when someone breaks that trust, repeatedly, while making weekend plans right in front of you, getting the money back might actually be the simpler part.

Rebuilding the relationship? Not quite.